Reality Bites

This is that post that you never really think you are going to have to write. The one where you have read a million times about it happening to another person but never thinking it would happen to yourself. 

I received my MRI results today and they were not what I was wanting to hear. I was expecting for them to tell me that the mass was no big deal. That it could be dealt with and treated by an injection of medication. Instead, I was told that the mass was in fact a tumor and needed to be removed and sent out for biopsy.

I really did not skip a beat. I asked the questions that needed addressed. I was given my surgery date. I went on my merry little way.

I made the phone calls that needed made to cover my kids and my husband to take me and stay while I am in surgery. This will be the 4th surgery that I have had since we have been married. I am a pro of some sorts, I guess.

Back ground information is that I have had a steady growing lump on my right ring finger for about a year. I have been told by 2 different doctors that it was a ganglion cyst. One told me to leave it alone unless it became painful. I did that. Once it started to be uncomfortable, I went to an urgent care to have it drained. Apparently, they do not do that. So they referred me to a an orthopedic doctor. They did some xrays and advised that it was not a cyst. That it could not be drained. They scheduled an mri to see exactly what they were dealing with. A large cell tumor. For the most part, they are usually benign. They can be cancerous. I was pissed at the doctors who have told me it was something that it wasn't. But I had to move on quickly from the madness and move onto the reality of it all.

I am worried but not to have surgery. I am more scared of how I am going to be 'normal' and keep up with chores and my kids. I should be worried about myself but I am not. I am worried about them. Worried about my husbands job because he has to take a day off and then work from home for a couple days. Worried that if I really do end up having cancer that it will crush my mother. Crush my husband. Crush my kids. Of course I have shed a tear or two worrying about how on earth we would be able to keep up with everything. And by everything, I mean: house work, bills, cleaning, cooking, feisty toddlers and a wicked teen.

I know everything will be okay. I do want to hear it from my husband though since he is my rock. I will keep you all informed with everything and appreciate a prayer here and there!