The scary 5 letter word

T-U-M-O-R

I went to the orthopedic today, planning on getting a ganglion cyst drained. With a needle! *shudder*

What I never expected to hear was the word tumor. Large celled tumor, to be exact. 

I arrived in the office 15 minutes early per the normal new patient instructions. I filled out my paper work. Check, check, copay, check! I sat in the waiting room for more than 30 minutes with sweaty palms about this needle. (I am afraid of needles. Do not like them. Never have. Never will. They make my eyes bug out of my head!)  I went in for blood pressure check and pulse. Both high. DUH, I am afraid of needles. 

Back to the waiting room before being called back to see the Dr. It was only a few more minutes of complete torture over the impending needle prick. 

In the room, meeting with a PA and giving all of my background information. Pulse still racing. Face still red as my blood pressure continues to rise over this needle. X-rays done and Dr comes in and exams my hand. After what seemed like a bajillion minutes, he determines that it is not a ganglion cyst. (you know, the cyst that I thought I have had for almost a year because 2 different Drs told me thats what it was!) 

The growth on my finger has increased in size over the last year. Getting bigger. Sometimes holding extra fluid from sleeping on it wrong. But the fluid is around my lump. Also I have fluid in my wrists. Awesomesauce! I was given instructions on how to remove excess fluid in my finger and my wrist. Given a prescription for an MRI and an anti-inflammatory medication to hopefully help shrink the lump. 

The lump is not diagnosed at this time. It could be a large celled tumor. Or a couple other random crazy things that I did not really hear because my mind was ALL TUMOR?!

I am not going to lie, when the word TUMOR came out of the Drs mouth, my jaw hit the floor. I could feel my face getting wet from perspiration. I could feel the red on my cheeks getting worse by the minute. My mind was racing. It could also be a few other things, including a polly something or other. But tumor is in my mind. Tumor was the first word out of his mouth. 

Treatment was not much discussed other than taking an anti-inflammatory and possibly needing injections if the oral medication was not working. Thank you Google for telling me it is a benign tumor that would need to be surgically removed AFTER I left the Drs office.

Unsure of the date of my MRI or how the outcome will be from it. I just need to keep on keeping on. But my mind wonders. Send positive vibes my way for awhile, mmmkay?!