Feels like only yesterday but also seems like a life time ago

Three years ago we celebrated your last birthday, 58 years young! I often sit and think about that day.

The gifts you received.
The cake that I decorated for you.
The smile on your face. The hugs you gave to us and your grandsons.
The oxygen machine.
The walker.
The flannel shirt you were wearing. (flannel was your thing and I will forever think of you when I see it)


Your birthday was treated as all the birthdays before. Presents, cake, hugs and kisses. Even with all the pain, you pushed through to come out to the dinning room for us to sing to you. You appreciated us and the thoughtfulness that went into everything. You were thankful for everything that you received.  And now each year our family goes out to dinner on your birthday. We celebrate you!

I know that tears come from all of us on specific days. Today is one of those days. 8 days from now is another one of those days. This week is so hard. Emotional. These are the days that we reflect on the years we spent with you. The last days of your life with us.

For me, I get a waive of mixed emotions on these days. Happiness thinking of the memories that we shared. Sadness as I think of Logan and Charlie not really knowing you. Heartache as you miss special occasions. Pride every time I look at Charlie and know that she is named after you. Joy as I listen to Dominic tell his siblings about you.

Tonight we will eat at Apple-bee's, one of your favorite places. Remembering you. Being grateful that we were chosen to be a part of your life.

Happy Birthday Dad! We miss you. We love you. We think of you all the time.

Wordless Wednesday - Cannot help but smile

Party Season

We have attended a bunch of parties recently. I wish I would have captured more photos but with 2 toddlers, not feeling like myself lately and the chaos around us...I only captured a few good ones to share!

First up was Alex's 5th birthday at a local restaurant. The kids enjoyed playing games, riding the merry go round and delicious food. (sadly I did not get a picture of the birthday boy)

Next up was my nieces 9th birthday at Conley's resort.  The kids had a blast swimming and go down the water slides. Even Logan went down the slides with his big brother. Charlie, not so much. Her and Lily decided that swimming was not for them. They just ran around looking cute.

Last up is Lexie's 6th birthday. We had a great time at their house chatting while the kids ran around like crazy people! Our kids always enjoy playing with their friends.

Happy Birthday guys! You are all growing up way too fast.

Rambling snippets

*My head is spinning with so much. I wish I could express my stress accurately but only a few people truly know and I thank them for the support they have been giving me! It will not ease any time soon so I have added some outlets to my daily routine. (biking, pilates, yoga) I soon hope to have some of it under control and be in the past.

*I decided a few weeks ago that I needed to have more of a challenge because being bored is just not my style. I talked with my supervisor at work and decided to pick up where I left off 4 years ago....working towards my final promotion. (I cannot go up anymore in my current position after this) I knew when I got pregnant with Logan that I just could not handle the extra efforts it would take on little sleep. So I stopped proceeding and knew I would pick up someday. I always imagined it would be sooner but becoming pregnant so quickly again changed that.

*My heart aches for various reasons, not just for myself but for others.

*Keeping up with project sell house, we ordered the remaining bedroom furniture that matches the bed we bought last summer. We needed real furniture. The hand me downs from Dominic (since we bought him and Logan new furniture last spring) have not been working. Gary broke the one drawer. Oops! And we need our house to be appealing for staging/resale. And yes people do look at your furniture when they house hunt, sad but true.

*I am very much ready for spring. On the days the kids are home, they get cabin fever. They WE miss the days of playing on the porch during the day and in the yard in the evening. I am dreaming of the days when our Mommy group met up weekly to do things outside with the kids!

*Bathroom remodel is coming along nicely. Tub is in! Sunday Gary and his brother are putting up the cement board while I am at lunch play date with the kids. I cannot wait to get in there and get dirty.

Wordless Wednesday - This time last year

Saturday Top Five Laughs

Another weekend is upon us. Gary and I are hoping to finish up our get rid of all the things project! To my northeastern readers, stay safe!

This is also my 300th post, whoa! 

5. Charlie and Logan wanted drinks. I brought both cups out and tried to hand one to Charlie, she gave me the stink eye and said "No, dat Chahrees!" Apparently I tried to hand her the wrong cup and she was not having it.

4. Logan had to go potty. "Mommy, I have a pee. Take me downstairs" *turns to Charlie* "And Charlie, you have a vagina." It appears that Logan has the human anatomy covered.

3. Logan and Charlie were dancing on the train table. Because, DUH, that is what a train table is for. Logan looks down at the drawer and says "Mommy, that is not for peeing. I will not pee dare again. I pwomise."

2. Dominic woke up one morning and heard his sister chatting to herself in her room. He went in to get her up for the day but when he opened the door, he immediately came right back out holding his nose. "Mom it smells in there. Like poop. She did it so I not really going to get her. It stinks way too bad."

1. Logan had a 2.5 hour nap one afternoon this week. Charlie had a stomach bug so we thought that maybe Logan was catching it and needed to sleep. He never came down with it, thankfully. Gary was up at 11:45 changing Charlie and saw something streak past him in the hall. It was Logan. He began looking for him all through the house. He was not in our room. Not in his bed. Not in his brothers bed. Gary walked back into Logans room to find him hiding in the closet with a chair in front of him. Logan was holding his brothers Iphone and playing a game on it. Sneaky little guy. Needless to say, there will be NO more napping that long for him. Ever again.

Game Plan

We have a plan that spans the next 3.5 years. There is a spreadsheet of said plan. In my house, that makes it official.

Our goals:

2013
Finish bathroom remodel
Drop ceiling 
Replace all exterior doors (except LR, that one needs repainted)
Replace all exterior lighting and repaint light pole
Fix garage doors
Touch up paint throughout house
Paint all interior doors
Install new closet doors
Paint downstairs bathroom
Fix fireplace (removing nasty gold metal and glass stuff) 
Paint cement block on exterior of house

2014
Refinish hardwood floors
New garage doors
Drain system
Insulate garage and put in new ceiling
New hot water tank
New basement steps
Close off and build new closet downstairs

2015
Kitchen remodel (huge project, gutting to the studs)
Drop ceiling on other half of downstairs 

2016
New interior doors
Update landscape
Touch up paint
Possibly putting in new flooring downstairs

Then hopefully putting this house on the market. When we are all said and done, this house will be entirely new. Everything will be fresh, neutral and updated. It will be a perfect house for someone, just not us.

I am trying with all my might to not get too attached to this place. We bought this house as an investment. A starter home with a purpose. A means to an end. The end being our dream home.

Here is to the next few years!

Wordless Wednesday - Missing summer and melted ice cream

Rambling thoughts of Randomness

Gary and I have had a lot going on here. We both have tons on our minds. Things have been changing. We are trying to embrace all that we can and ignore what is not desirable. My thought are spinning and you lucky readers get to read the chaos in my head!

*I have posted about how much we are getting rid of here. It continued this weekend as we tackled the attic. Now we just need to move the rest of our boxes from the basement to the attic and the tools to the garage. BAM we have part of the basement that we can remodel for Dominic to play with legos, his I phone etc in peace away from toddlers.

*Charlie is changing so rapidly. Between giving up her binki on her own, to going to bed without a fight and sleeping all night and finally to starting to potty train. It is all happening so fast. Makes my mommy heart hurt yet so bursting with pride.

*Disappointment has been happening a lot lately and in all aspects of our lives. Nothing feels worse than it. Oof.

*Health. I am fortunate to not have any worst case scenarios. Things could be better but I am grateful that all things can be controlled with medication.

*Planning is in full force for finishing up projects around the house. Starting new projects. Budgeting and preparing to put it on the market in 3-4 years. HOLD ME! It will all be worth it to find our forever home. Maybe even *gasp* build our forever home. (If anyone finds a money tree, send one our way because holy $$ to do everything we want to do)

*I have kept up with my goal of putting our marriage as a priority. We have gone out to dinner, shopping and had a few movie nights. It feels awesome. I am starting to remember who we are ;)

*I need to get some more hours in a day and figure out a good work out routine. This is a work in progress. Stay tuned! heh

Meal Planning My Way

I have mentioned on Twitter and FB a few times about how I started to meal plan to save my family money. To save myself time. To help ease the chaos in the evening when the kids are screaming at my feet because they want to eat NOW! A few people have asked how I do it...so this is meal planning my way.

My family used to just plan a week at a time. Then shop on the weekends. I thought that was working for us. I would shop sales and clip coupons when I could (really I rarely do this anymore as I have zero free time for it). However, our weekly food budget kept getting bigger. So it was not working for us.

I pull up pinterest and find recipes that my family likes and ones that we want to try. I pull a few of our stand by meals as well. (chilli, tacos, breakfast, burgers ...you get the idea) We do eat out on average twice a month.

I begin to fill out what meals to have on each night on a word calendar. I take note as to what meat we are eating and try not to over lap similar tasting meals. (although for shopping I do try to keep ingredients similar to keep down costs) If I am buying fresh veggies that need cooked later on in the month, I cut them up and freeze them. At any point in time, you will find frozen carrots/celery/onions etc in my freezer. I also freeze good bread for grilled and warm sandwiches since I buy it in bulk.

At the end of every month, I inventory what I have in the freezer and pantry. I write it all down on paper and go to my laptop to copy it into a word document. I keep 2 sides because we shop at a bulk store Costco and we also use Giant Eagle and a Super Walmart on occasion. I add in all the other ingredients that I need to buy to create each dinner. I also shop weekly for fresh fruit, milk, veggies etc that we consume quickly or that spoil.

Gary and I go shopping and get everything that we need. On average, we spend around 600 a month for food, toiletries, diapers and paper products. We are thinking of doing a CSA this year for our fruits and veggies. It would allow us to have a variety and get local fresh items weekly. We may go out and get a quart of a grass fed cow as well. (the only thing is that I do not eat beef so it would be everyone else eating it and myself still having chicken, heh)

When it is all said and done, I have spent around an hour and a half planning. It used to take me a longer amount of time but I have gotten used to my system.

Saturday Top Five Laughs

Hey, it is that time of week again...my favorite posts to write!  I have not had a chance to write these in a couple weeks due to birthday parties but I am back with some the funny.




5. Gary was singing a song and used Logan's name. His repsonse "I am not a creeper Dad. Stop it!"

4. Logan and Charlie are obsessed with singing and dancing to you tube videos. They are big fans of One Direction and Justin Beiber. When 'Beauty and a Beat' comes on, Charlie sings along and it is the cutest thing on earth. "Ahh ahhh, I eed booty ahhh bee." I need to get it on video but she stops every time I pull out my phone.

3. Charlie just started potty training and went all day yesterday without having one accident. Until the evening when she was singing and dancing along to Justin Beiber, then she peed all over her blanket. The look on her face was pure terror. "I pee. I pee. Uh oh." We giggled and told her that accidents happen.

2. Libby was chasing the kids around as they were pushing babies in the stroller. She stepped on Charlie's blanket and whoops, Libby slide across the living room. Charlie was giggling so hard. Her giggles make everything funnier.

1. During her first big day of potty training, I may have had to yell at Charlie for licking the potty chair. And my gut just turned writing that down! Gross.