Friday, October 26, 2012

Reality Bites

This is that post that you never really think you are going to have to write. The one where you have read a million times about it happening to another person but never thinking it would happen to yourself. 

I received my MRI results today and they were not what I was wanting to hear. I was expecting for them to tell me that the mass was no big deal. That it could be dealt with and treated by an injection of medication. Instead, I was told that the mass was in fact a tumor and needed to be removed and sent out for biopsy.

I really did not skip a beat. I asked the questions that needed addressed. I was given my surgery date. I went on my merry little way.

I made the phone calls that needed made to cover my kids and my husband to take me and stay while I am in surgery. This will be the 4th surgery that I have had since we have been married. I am a pro of some sorts, I guess.

Back ground information is that I have had a steady growing lump on my right ring finger for about a year. I have been told by 2 different doctors that it was a ganglion cyst. One told me to leave it alone unless it became painful. I did that. Once it started to be uncomfortable, I went to an urgent care to have it drained. Apparently, they do not do that. So they referred me to a an orthopedic doctor. They did some xrays and advised that it was not a cyst. That it could not be drained. They scheduled an mri to see exactly what they were dealing with. A large cell tumor. For the most part, they are usually benign. They can be cancerous. I was pissed at the doctors who have told me it was something that it wasn't. But I had to move on quickly from the madness and move onto the reality of it all.

I am worried but not to have surgery. I am more scared of how I am going to be 'normal' and keep up with chores and my kids. I should be worried about myself but I am not. I am worried about them. Worried about my husbands job because he has to take a day off and then work from home for a couple days. Worried that if I really do end up having cancer that it will crush my mother. Crush my husband. Crush my kids. Of course I have shed a tear or two worrying about how on earth we would be able to keep up with everything. And by everything, I mean: house work, bills, cleaning, cooking, feisty toddlers and a wicked teen.

I know everything will be okay. I do want to hear it from my husband though since he is my rock. I will keep you all informed with everything and appreciate a prayer here and there!


  1. Oh hun- so many huge prayers said! Please continue to have a good attitude because I know everything will turn out fine! Promise!xoxo

  2. :( sending you lots of prayers friend. hope it all will turn out fine. Let me know if you need anything xoxo

  3. Hang in there, I am sure everything will be fine. Thinking of you!!

  4. I know the feeling from when they diagnosed my enlarged thyroid. Thankfully it wasn't cancer. But that was before the baby. Try not to worry about things before they happen. May it all work out ok. Many prayers and hugs coming your way!

  5. I will continue to pray for both you and your family. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Sometimes we try to be too strong and don't admit when we really need support especially when we are used to being "super mon". Best wishes for a fast recovery from surgery and excellent results!

  6. Always thinking of you Tracy, I wish you didn't have to go through this :(
    You are a strong and amazing woman and you will get through this!!!
    We are all here to listen when you need an ear...xo