Thursday, February 28, 2013

Feels like only yesterday but also seems like a life time ago

Three years ago we celebrated your last birthday, 58 years young! I often sit and think about that day.

The gifts you received.
The cake that I decorated for you.
The smile on your face. The hugs you gave to us and your grandsons.
The oxygen machine.
The walker.
The flannel shirt you were wearing. (flannel was your thing and I will forever think of you when I see it)

Your birthday was treated as all the birthdays before. Presents, cake, hugs and kisses. Even with all the pain, you pushed through to come out to the dinning room for us to sing to you. You appreciated us and the thoughtfulness that went into everything. You were thankful for everything that you received.  And now each year our family goes out to dinner on your birthday. We celebrate you!

I know that tears come from all of us on specific days. Today is one of those days. 8 days from now is another one of those days. This week is so hard. Emotional. These are the days that we reflect on the years we spent with you. The last days of your life with us.

For me, I get a waive of mixed emotions on these days. Happiness thinking of the memories that we shared. Sadness as I think of Logan and Charlie not really knowing you. Heartache as you miss special occasions. Pride every time I look at Charlie and know that she is named after you. Joy as I listen to Dominic tell his siblings about you.

Tonight we will eat at Apple-bee's, one of your favorite places. Remembering you. Being grateful that we were chosen to be a part of your life.

Happy Birthday Dad! We miss you. We love you. We think of you all the time.


  1. This made me cry...because I KNOW those feelings all too well. Andrew wore one of my dad's ties to his band concert last night. He never met him, but appreciates things like that.

    Thoughts and so much love with you. You know I know. ♥

  2. I'll be in the same boat one day and I'll never be ready. Hugs!

  3. It sounds like those last few memories were some of the best. I have no idea what it is like to feel that kind of pain, but am glad you have so many people that love your family to help you get through the tough days. xoxo

  4. Big hugs, Tracy. Your post made me cry. I know how much you all miss him!

  5. This made me tear up! Huge hugs to you Tracy! Your dad sounds like a truly amazing man!

  6. Thinking of you Tracy...cherish every memory forever xoxo