Thursday, April 12, 2012

Confessions - Emotional Rollercoaster

As I sat at my lap top making Charlie's first birthday video, I cried. A lot. Tears were streaming down my face and Logan kept on giving me hugs and asking if I was okay. I, of course, told him that I am fine but just a bit sad.

I realized today that I never had mixed emotions when the boys turned one. I was excited to watch them grow! However, with Charlie, I am an emotional wreck. I am torn. Torn between loving watching my daughter turn into a toddler and yearning to hold my squishy newborn.

I think because she is our last baby that it is throwing me a for a loop. I want to grab her and hold on. Stop time and just keep her all for myself. Completely selfish, no?

I know that my heart wanted one more baby. But my mind is sure that 3 children is enough. I physically could not handle another pregnancy. I know that. I took surgical measures to ensure another baby is not an option.

With all of that said, why am I so heart broken seeing her grow up?


  1. Because it is ALWAYS heartbroken watching your kids grow up. Every good parent every where is. We love our kids just as much as teens or babies, but when they are kind of feels like you have forever...but the older they get, well, the more we realize how short time is and how little we have left with out little ones at home. :-( That's my view on why at least. :-/

  2. I am a little more emotional with my girl too and she's also the last! The fact that shes a little slow to grow and hit all the milestones really isn't concerning me. ;) I'm just cherishing every moment and taking lots of pictures! Hugs Momma!

  3. I feel the same way! I am a mom to three boys and my baby is getting near 3 years old. I am so emotional over everything he does because I love having little guys that depend on me and we are getting closer to not having that. I totally get it!! Hang in there!!

  4. I so agree with you! It's bitter sweet. My last baby will be 1 a month from today, and I'm sad but happy at the same time. Of course we want our babies to grow up like they should but sometimes it's nice if they could just stay babies! I know I never understood what people meant when they said, children grow up way too fast, until I had children of my own! Now I completely agree!