Thursday, October 17, 2013

We all grow along the way - learning as I approach 35!

Gary and I have been talking about how we have grown over the last several years. How so much has changed. How things are always popping up and you just need to go with the flow. How kids change all aspects of your life and put a spin on anything you can think of. How we never knew we would be where we are today when we think about ourselves and us together from all those years ago.

When Gary and I first started dating in 1998, things were a lot different. I was in college, he was still in *gasp* high school. We both had visions of where we would be in 5, 10, or 15 years. And honestly, not many of those visions are we actually are today! As the years went by, our hopes, dreams and selves changed. We always talked about having kids and never expected to get pregnant with Dominic as early as we did. The first 3 years was a whirl wind of unexpected behaviors and surprises. A twist in life that we did not plan on. Events occurred that changed us and our paths in life.

Fast forward to 2005 when we first moved in together.  It was a big step. The milestone that changed the way we thought, the family we were and the beginning of the life that we now have. We got engaged in 2007 and married in 2008. We gave birth to Logan in 2009. We bought our first home in 2010. We gave birth to Charlie in 2011, she completed our family. With each milestone, came a new challenge. A new joy. A new way of thinking. A new way of planning. Our life. My life.

With each passing year, we learn as we go. We have learned that some days we will want to pull our hair out but another day everything will go perfectly. Some days will be filled with fighting among our kids, yelling from us parents and, yet, another day will be all laughs and love.

Knowing is half the battle, right?

Things aren't always going to go the way that we planned for. Some nights all Gary and I want is to be adults and do married couple things. *ahem* But there is a toddler who is having a nightmare. Or there is a weekend that we NEED to get some bathroom remodeling done. But there is a soccer game, a family event to attend and 6 loads of laundry that take priority. Other nights we just want to vedge with the kids but a tween who needs help with homework. Or a sick child who needs to go to the doctor.

There is always going to be an unexpected expense, a twist in a situation that we did not think of, a version of a story that we had no clue existed. It does not always make the unplanned events any easier. However, the play must go on as they say. Even if the play has additional acts that you never seen coming. Or acts that are a direct result of a mistake in another act.

We have to attempt to meet and exceed our goals. Meeting those goals is not easy and changing during the way is just what happens. Some goals we have had to put on hold while others we have met. Some we have not and have had to come to terms with that.
  
I have changed and grown in my family and my professional life. My own person has some flaws now that I never had before. (Hello anxiety and depression that I don't talk about much)    I now have knowledge and expertise in things that I never imagined I would have. Your child has a rash, let me take a look because I have seen so many different kinds. Thank you working at a daycare for 5 years and having 3 children! I have forgotten a lot of what I knew from school. History, what is that? I crunch numbers all day and play with spreadsheets at night. I know more about health insurance than I ever knew was possible. I can cure the sadness of my children with a little bit of tickling. I can sometimes cheer up my husband with just a hug. I can help my friends just by listening. I cry more now than I have ever in my life and that is not always a bad thing. I multitask so much that if I do not have 5 things that need done at once, then I have no idea how to act.

Gary and I have grown as a couple. There are things that always need improved upon, that is never going to change. We continue to teach each other things.

Our life with friends change as we change. Some people we are very close to and yet they do not live near us. Others live right down the road but we have grown apart from them because our interest and goals are not the same. Some friends we can go days, weeks and months without communicating and pick up where we left off. A few friends have the same hopes and dreams that we have and it helps our friendship thrive in this every changing world!

Our life with family also changes in the same was as with our friends. Family is blood and that will never change. You will always love and cherish them. However, you realize that some family is closer to you and is always behind your every move. Supporting you in ways that you need and sometimes in ways that you didn't want or know you needed. Others are just not supportive. 

Gary and I are not the same version of ourselves as we were 15 years ago. I am not the same as I once was. Our family is not the same. Our circle of friends has changed. Our interest, dreams and hopes for the future have changed.  If I could go back in time and tell us about what life was really going to be like all these years later, I wouldn't. That would take the fun, the scary, the awesome and the crazy out of what we have experienced.

As I approach the ripe old age of 35, I can honestly say that who I am now is a direct result of my husband, my kids, my parents, my friends, my family and everything that we have gone through together. I will continue to try every day to be more of the person I want to be. Accepting change and challenges, even when they are so hard that you just want to walk away and give up. Learning through my experiences and growing along the way.

Here is to another 35 years in this life! 

4 comments:

  1. well said my friend! Isnt it crazy how life isn't what we ever expected it to be.

    I feel lucky and blessed to call you my friend!!!

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  2. I am nodding to this, especially the part about how if you could go back and tell yourself how it would turn out, you wouldn't.

    I hope the next 35 years are full of new joys and new changes that are even better than anything you imagined!

    P.S. We still need to celebrate our birthdays!! :)

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    1. Yes we do! We need to chat soon about it :)

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  3. Love you, girl! Go with the flow. That's the only way to get through life without going crazy!

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